There were colors, hazy dreams. I thought about it, about moving. It wasn’t easy being me. Not here. Maybe if I lived in California. The town, Crane Lake where the men wear proper attire, plaid, that’s where I lived. Hated it. Here I was today, shirtless, bare toes, tight, black jeans, no one to share the beautiful, the sparkling water, the soft breeze, my pulsating, demanding libido. Mirage then just off the port side of the bow — had to be. Feeling foolish, I hurried over. Did I see someone there, or was it the desperate desire of wanting to see someone? Surely this was my twin emerging from the blue, climbing into the skiff. Me, yet, not me. His face was different, the color of his eyes blue; mine were hazel.
“Hiya,” he said. He was on board now, standing up. Imagination, sure it was. He was bare feet, tight black jeans and naught else just like me.
“Yeah, do I know you?”
“Not exactly, but you’re going to want to.” He brushed back his dark hair, dark like mine. His lovely smile given freely without reservation, jeans rode low on his hips, flat bellied, tawny cat body, muscled yet lithe, youthful. I was twenty, was he the same? Was I that sexy? Eyes invited. Made me feel like perhaps I was. Sexy, I mean.
“Where did you come from? Swim from shore? A boat?” I scanned the lake – notta!
“Your imagination.”
“Right, this is a dream – yeah.”
“I’m an angel.”
“Sure you are.”
He stepped closer, I remained where I was, the boat shifted under us, he fell against me maybe on purpose. Maybe I didn’t mind so much.
“Your answer is incorrect,” he said, his face inches from mine, “I’m you.”
“Ok, this is stupid, but,” my finger traced my jawline, “I’ll play along,” I said, “Why not.”
“Do you remember who you were before the world told you who to be?”
A hint of musk, a whisper just there on the wind, perhaps from his skin. His fingers were cool against my face.
“This isn’t right,” I said.
“Because...”
“Because if you ARE an angel aren’t you supposed to be holy and pure or something?”
“I’m here to teach you to stop being afraid.”
“How?”
“By being yourself openly in this place with me. Love yourself freely without judgement.”
“I’m having a lot of trouble doing that, spirit. See, saying you are an angel is a mistake, by the way. Makes me feel like I am in church and I need to clamp my legs together.” He ran his hands over his own chest, jutted his chin out at me. He did the puppy dog eyes that got to me. Then I laughed.
“I left my wings at home.” He stopped talking at that point, leaned forward and nuzzled my face, outlined my contours as if he were painting a picture of me with his lips; deep intake of breath- mine.
“I’m afraid of you.”
“That’s my point. Hmmmmm?” He entwined his fingers with mine.
“What if this is all in my head?”
“Does that really matter? Does that make it any less real?” Finger in my belt loop tugging, sliding denim even further down past my hip line. He dropped to his knees and blew hot air into the front of my trousers against my sleeping lad.
“You’re scaring the hell out of me. What if someone sees us?” I glanced around nervously. Some old Minnesota fisherman going get a big surprise.
“Kiss me.”
I couldn’t resist, could I? I cat-nuzzled at first, then gave a wet, sloppy open-mouthed kiss. I was a hungry boy. He lifted my hand to his mouth, gently fellated my middle finger while he regarded my eyes. He unbuttoned and unzipped himself, dared me with his teasing look. I couldn’t drop to my knees fast enough; nothing underneath those jeans but bare skin. Just like me, I freed his member.
He was Uncircumcised. I began a naughty descent, rolling his foreskin up his shaft, back over the glands to my waiting mouth. He rocked contented on the balls of his feet, his fingers mussing my hair playfully. I rested my hand on his belly. Then, ran my tongue under the lip of his foreskin held in place by my fingers, roaming the circumference, savoring the tang flavor. I always wanted to try one of those.
I made up for my lack of education with enthusiasm, gentle Indian sunburn massage with my right hand while my mouth descended stem to stern, throat slack and hungry for it all the way down to the root, while I cupped his warm balls. My mouth face to face with his groin, he was deep in my throat, I flicked my tongue out for a minute of awe. My muscles contracted on his enormous boy, filthy ascent listening to him moan, several solid minutes of up and down before he said,
“I’m being selfish.” He tilted my head up, his twinkled eyes reflected my two tiny pictures both considering, anticipating.
“Not at all.”
I talked to him with my eyes. We both started to laugh. It was good then – the feeling. He pulled me to my feet. We encircled each other’s waist with our arms, his Lee’s were open, slipping off; we kissed.
I ran my nose along his chin, he purred. My lips found his, I teased with the lightest pressure. He kissed the tip of my nose – I loved that. He playfully wrestled me to the deck, made me feel like a child. We laughed, kissed, and hugged. We paused to feel his breath going into my mouth, mine into his. His skin was barely touching mine, where our lips met so that the scintillating touch was electric. I can’t explain in words what this made me feel – the universe opened.
The resistance fell away. I turned the key and the door opened. I kissed my way down his body until my mouth found what I was searching for – it sprang to life beneath my nurturing. We were head to feet supine, and he unzipped me as well. I already had his erection in my mouth, worshipped phallic dance that I performed as he matched me, took me into his mouth as the boat rocked us. Self love – rhythm. I Couldn’t take it fast enough, his slick hot silk, pumped, rocket hard as I gulped down his and he gulped down mine.
Our eager mouths and throats were open to experience. I loved me at last and him. Was there a difference, going faster, hearts raced, tantric crescendo, chakras energized, we exploded into cosmic orgasm together? I can’t speak for him, but I left my body. That was a week ago. What a surprise, turned out he lived on the lake and had been watching me. He was still my angel.
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